Read at Watashi wa Sugoi Desu!
Chapter 33 (Part 1)
I was being sneered at by my own self. Well, it definitely was a good dream.
It was a dream that would never happen in reality: a version of the Kingdom of Soleil, where dark attribute users weren’t persecuted. Because I wasn’t persecuted, I was able to meet Luca from a young age, and we even promised to marry each other. And, with Noel, the three of us were able to have a leisurely meal.
However, it was strange that my room was still in the basement, even though I wasn’t being persecuted. A new setting about me being weak against sunlight, which wasn’t true in reality, had been added in. I had quite the imagination, if I do say so myself.
My mother didn’t show up, probably because I couldn’t recall her face properly. I had only seen her face clearly a few times when I was a baby. Although I had memories of the maids being present in the mansion as well, they didn’t appear in my dream as I had no clue what kind of people they were.
The locations in my dream focused on my room in the basement and the courtyard where my father had carried me and brought me out once in a blue moon. It really was a happy dream; it was like a small, narrow miniature garden, a place where my reality, my past, and my hopes and wishes came together.
“Even so, to think that I (Zagan) was inside of me all along.”
What we were currently in was the world inside my mind, where there was only darkness. I didn’t even know if my eyes were open or not. All I knew was that my consciousness was here, and I could sense another part of my consciousness concealed behind me.
“Usually you surround me in a state where our souls are fused.”
“Ahh, so we are properly fused. I was a little confused because we’re currently separated.”
“You were too reckless and your soul was about to disappear! That’s why I separated us in a panic and switched positions to surround you. However, since this isn’t our original form, I can’t fuse with you and our body’s consciousness can’t return. In fact, all I can do is wait for you to recover and cling to you so that your soul doesn’t leave our body.
“Sorry for the inconvenience. No, but is it still causing inconvenience when the other party is also me?”
“It’s because it’s only now that we are separated. I’m f*cking lucky that my body has two souls. Otherwise, I would’ve died there again.”
The version of me, from my past life on Earth, fused with the form that surrounded me (Zagan). That was why the main personality that emerged from the body was probably the Earth me. But since we were currently separated, I could also see the original Zagan’s influence.
On Earth, I was quite the normal member of society. That was why I used polite language with superiors and those whom I met for the first time. However, I probably couldn’t be that cordial anymore. I didn’t speak politely even when I’d faced a goddess. Now, the only person that I could probably talk to that way would be my father.
Besides, when emotions got the better of me, I ended up cursing despite myself. Back on Earth, I had probably been more reserved in my speech. Or so I’d like to think.
Perhaps the reason why Zagan, who was supposed to be a game character, sometimes felt like he wasn’t one was because he fused with me while enclosed within me. It was amazing how he had escaped from the Great Forest all by himself despite never receiving any means of protection from his father. Or how he had broken through the floor while capturing the dungeon. The reason why I was strangely curious about the parts that weren’t depicted in the game was probably because the memories I had actually experienced were deep within me, albeit invisible to me.
“By the way, I wonder why the Earth me is the primary personality even though we’re merged. It should have originally been your body.”
“Isn’t it because you wanted to start anew, and I didn’t want to live through this sh*t again? Besides, if I was the sole personality, I wouldn’t be able to change anything. The world must have fused us together to enable us to change the future.”
“Hm? Is it the world that fused us together?”
“Of course it was. I said that I didn’t want to repeat this life a second time, so when I went back in time, it brought a soul from another world to sync with mine and fused us together. The only being I can think of that can pull off such a feat is the world itself.”
Turning back time and fusing two souls, huh?
If I heard such a thing during my past life on earth, it would have been a little too unrealistic. However, this world was different. The mana of this world had given rise to Gods, as well as many demons. Every dungeon too had been created from the power of this world.
There was no time or space magic here, yet by combining various demon materials brought forth by this world, it was possible to alchemize a magic bag that stopped time and expanded space.
Therefore, if you were to ask me if it was possible to turn back time in this world, I could answer that it was. It was even believable that it was possible to have two souls fused in a body that normally harboured just one soul.
“But that begs the question as to why the world went to the trouble of turning back time and fusing us together.”
“Well, I alone make up only one part of the whole. Perhaps he is… No, it’s nothing.”
“It didn’t sound like it was nothing.”
Who was “he?” I was curious, but Zagan seemed to have no intention of answering and was groaning in an attempt to cover it up.
“Ah— …perhaps it’s that. Maybe there is a definite future, like the end of the world, and they really want to change it. But no matter how many times we go back in time, no matter what route we take, the end result will always be the end of the world. I think they thought it was possible to change that with you here.”
“That’s quite the tall order. Although, being reincarnated to save the world isn’t such a bad idea; I will take up the task.”
Perhaps Zagan knew something important. That was why he was making such an assumption. But he had no intention of telling me, the main personality, the details.
“The fact that I was fused in a state that surrounds you means that the memories were sealed unless you wanted otherwise, right?”
“Ah? Oh, yeah, that’s right.”
“I see. If possible, I would like to see your memories.”
“Stop right there. You won’t be able to shake off the hatred you feel for your parents and the feeling that you’ve slaughtered tens of thousands of people.”
“Th…at’s… you’re right, I won’t. I think I’d have a mental breakdown.”
“I told you so. Well, but I also learnt sword skills from that though. It’s a surefire technique that can kill any opponent, though it’s at the cost of damaging your own body. The more powerful the opponent, the greater the cost that rebounds on you. Even if you drink potions, you won’t recover. That’s why I was so exhausted and why my body was in complete tatters after facing two dragons.”
So the Zagan of the game had formidable strength because he had learned such a sword technique. And I as well.
“I don’t need it. At least, with how I am now…because I’m not alone.”
“…That’s true. I’m not alone.”
I had Luca. My beloved would definitely be by my side.
Besides, Noel and the other heroines had also rushed to my side. That was why I was able to launch the ultimate magic against my five dragon opponents. Because I wasn’t alone.
“Nothing left to say? In that case, hurry up and surround me. I’m getting sick of clinging on to our body.”
I imagined stretching my body wide. When I did that, Zagan entered me. After I encompassed him so completely that he was no longer visible, we naturally fused.
I didn’t feel uncomfortable even when I was separated from him, but now that we fused, I felt like I returned to my own existence. This form was the real me.
The shape of my soul had been restored, but I still hadn’t fully recovered enough to wake up just yet. It looked like I would be asleep for a while.