I Reincarnated as the Villain in an Eroge, But Before I Realized, I Became a Capture Target
Translator: Reo
Editor: PalenMisha
Read at Watashi wa Sugoi Desu!
Luca POV – 10.1
I received the imperial order without incident and even managed to put on a smile as I talked to Noel at my birthday party. I still felt like throwing up, but the moment I felt the bile rising, I swallowed it back down. Before the party began, I’d vomited until my stomach was empty, so it was currently only gastric juices. If I secretly used life magic, the smell wouldn’t linger either.
I didn’t want them to notice my deteriorating state and take back the imperial order, so while preparations for my journey were being made, I desperately hid it.
I couldn’t just reduce the amount of food I usually ate, so after forcing the food down my throat, I’d go to the bathroom and throw it all up.
Thanks to that, we left the capital as planned, which was a relief. However, from now on I’d have to travel with Noel.
Wavering between the feelings of guilt and disgust, I plastered a smile on my face in front of her. Because I knew her favorability towards me was a quantifiable metric, I couldn’t help but think of her as a puppet. Though our fourteen years of training together probably didn’t count towards that number as they happened before the story began.
I wondered if the opposite was possible, if I too could put a number to my emotions. If I could, maybe it would make things less hard for me. After all, the reason I constantly felt like vomiting was because of those emotions. If I could at least go mad, it would make things better, but I didn’t know how to go about making myself crazy.
At least I reduced the amount of food I was eating so even if I did throw up, it wouldn’t be as bad. Of course, this made Noel worry, but she let it go when I told her it was because I was nervous about the imperial order and didn’t feel like eating much.
When we encountered the Ivy, I took it down before it could grab Noel. It was because I didn’t want her to cling to me. If she had touched me, I would have thrown up for real… It was almost certain I no longer loved Noel. Just the thought of how we entangled our bodies in the past made me feel nauseous.
After reaching the 1st city and talking with the lord while fighting the urge to vomit, we entered the 1st dungeon. I proceeded through it with caution so that we wouldn’t die carelessly like before.
After a couple of days, we met Miranda as expected. I didn’t really want to meet her, but as our meeting was something that was determined by the story, it couldn’t be helped. Also, I thought that being around two dolls would make my anxiety worse, but in actuality listening to the girls talk to each other made it better and my nausea lessened slightly. Still, because they would also include me in their conversations, I had to plaster a smile on my face as I answered them.
Even facing Zagan didn’t inspire me like it used to. I didn’t really care if he made a fool of me – I was going to repeat this moment again and again anyway.
“Attacking out of nowhere like this, there should be a limit to how bad your manners are. You, who the hell are you?”
“Ah? Name’s Zagan. Heard of me?”
Zagan revealed his black hair and the battle began.
After automatically blocking Zagan’s dagger which seemed to have appeared from thin air, Miranda and Noel attacked. I watched, without interfering, as he quickly struck them down. Then his blade once again turned towards me. I blocked the dagger again, then brought down my sword, though of course he stopped it with his staff. With that force, a gap was created between us – a gap perfect for close-range magic attacks. Obviously he was going to hit me with some spells now… or not. For some reason Zagan just let himself fly backwards.
By this point, numerous attacks should have come at me, so why?
“You… the hell are you so full of despair?”
“Huh…?” I was taken by surprise and my voice slipped out.
How did he know what I was feeling? I wanted to ask, but I was so shocked my mouth just opened and closed and no words came out. Zagan, however, correctly guessed what I wanted to say and answered me.
“There’s stuff you can tell when you fight. Stuff you can feel when two blades cross. Plus, I’m a dark attribute user – I know negative emotions when I feel them.”
“Is that… so?”
So the reason I could sense the truth behind people’s words was because I was a light attribute user and was sensitive to positive emotions?
“I’m hated by everyone and the people who try to kill me fear me. And I’ve killed hundreds of people too. But it’s my first time seeing a bastard so full of despair. And it isn’t because I’m about to kill you either… How about it then? You won’t feel any pain.” He told me matter-of-factly, looking at me with his murky red eyes.
I could feel an enormous amount of mana emanating from the dagger in his right hand as its tip pointed toward me.
Tears started spilling out. They dropped down one after the other and I couldn’t stop them.
He was going to kill me to free me from my despair. I didn’t expect him to offer me a solution in such a Zagan-like way. I was already happy that he had noticed the despair inside my heart, but it warmed my soul to know that that Zagan was worrying about me.
If it truly would have freed me from this despair, I would have happily taken his offer. It pained me that he would have to bear the sin of killing me, but Zagan probably didn’t care.
However, even if I died, the story would just go back to the start.
No matter how many times I die, I cannot escape.
“Thank you, Zagan. I’ll keep living though. Even if I die here, I won’t be able to escape it.”
Seeing me wipe away my tears with a smile, Zagan clicked his tongue and lowered his dagger.
“I don’t get you… guess I should have killed you without asking any questions.”
It seemed like he’d lost his eagerness to fight.
Since I hadn’t really planned on putting up a fight from the start, I sheathed my sword and took out the star fragment instead.
“Here you go. Without this you can’t transfer out, right? My friends and I will wait for the forced transfer, so take this, Zagan.”
When I said that, Zagan let out an exasperated sigh, then walked up to me casually, taking the fragment from my palm. As always, he looked at it with interest before tucking it into his pocket.
“You, what was your name again?”
“Luca. Luca Soleil.”
“Right. See yah, Luca. If you’re still alive, I’ll probably see you again.”
He asked for my name, as always, but this was the first time he patted me on the shoulder.
Perhaps I’d been soothed by Zagan’s kindness, as my heart grew lighter and it felt like my symptoms had lessened.
I managed to endure Nina joining us and, while we were on the move, I avoided the girls by taking the coachman’s seat. Even if they talked to me from inside the carriage, they weren’t able to see my discomfort.
I also made sure that Nina and Miranda wouldn’t offer me an invitation. I explained in an overbearing manner that since this was an imperial order of the utmost importance, I should act accordingly. Also, I spent all of my free time training, so I managed to safely avoid any such invitations.
Since I also told Camilla, Bennett, and Cindy from the start about acting in moderation, they too didn’t come on to me.
The reason I hadn’t behaved in a princely manner in the previous turns was because I was concerned it would make the atmosphere heavy within our party, as they were all common people, unused to noble society. But I didn’t really care anymore. Even if there was friction inside our party and I died because of it, I’d just go back to the start.
I could feel the bile rising up.
No, don’t. Don’t think about it. Let’s think about nice and happy things. Like when Zagan noticed my despair. I was really happy when he did. That kindness, unique to him, made me cry. It had been the first time I’d ever cried from joy.
Speaking of which, I think it won’t be long until I see him again.
I wish it were sooner…
In mid-April, in the safe space in the 4th dungeon, Zagan showed up as he always did. Since encountering him there was part of the game scenario, it was only natural. Still, I was so happy a smile spread across my lips. It wasn’t a forced smile, but a real one which made me even happier.
When Zagan saw me, he ignored the girls who were showing him hostility and called out to me.
“Yo, Luca. Still alive? I wouldn’t have been surprised if you’d died.”
“Zagan! How dare you make a fool of others!” Miranda yelled furiously before I could answer and a fight immediately ensued.
I finally got to see Zagan again, but I couldn’t talk to him at all.
You’re just a puppet so please don’t get in my way.
However, while I was spacing out, my party members were defeated in a flash. In just a few minutes, everyone other than me was lying face-first on the ground. This was the first time something like this had happened. Was it because I hadn’t participated in the fight?
Zagan pointed his dagger towards me and grinned.
“Try to look lively. It’s like you don’t even care if I kill them or not.”
“It doesn’t really matter… I just thought you wouldn’t really kill them.”
I regretted letting Noel die that time. Even if she was a doll, she still had feelings and could still feel pain – I regretted making her go through something as horrific as that.
But this time the girls were the ones who attacked first, and Zagan had never once killed them before. So I just knew that he wouldn’t this time either. That was how kind Zagan was.
“I’d like to say I ain’t such a nice person, but… I don’t hate the ones that face me head-on despite knowing I’m a killer. Guess you were right then.”
Perhaps he was going to kill me right now. He did say he should have killed me without asking any questions. But perhaps because Noel and Camilla were desperately trying to lift themselves up, he lowered his dagger instead.
“It’s been fun. See yah, Luca.”
Using intimidation that made the girls unable to move, Zagan left the safe space.
The fact that a cave-in didn’t happen was a first as well.
Thank you for continuing to translate the extras!
The extra world building is kind of recontextualizing their relationship in an uncomfortable way. I’m still very invested, but I hope there’s a nice resolution to all of this.
Thank you