I Reincarnated as the Villain in an Eroge, But Before I Realized, I Became a Capture Target
Translator: Reo
Editor: PalenMisha
Read at Watashi wa Sugoi Desu!
Luca POV 9 – Part 1
**trigger warning: thoughts of despair/suicide**
The phantom world I’d thought of as a parallel universe was actually reality, and the world in which I lived was just one game that existed within that reality. A scripted piece of media accompanied by illustration and sound, with the addition of things like combat and likability.
Generally speaking, the story started with the protagonist receiving an imperial order and ended when he defeated the Evil God and destroyed the Lumiere, exactly as I’d experienced so far. However, depending on the many choices that could be made throughout, the journey and its ending would change.
Specifically, the choice of who to have sex with.
When having sex with one of the girls their favorability goes up, which triggers that girl’s individual event.
In the third loop, the reason why Noel left via the magic circle with the others without confronting Zagan was because I hadn’t embraced her. Thus Noel hadn’t come to like me.
This was the world of a game where such rules could exist, which was probably why—once I defeated the last boss of the game, the Evil God—the story would restart.
No matter how many times I went through it, I was sure I would one day find a way to escape this loop. I thought that if I didn’t give up, then one day, surely… Yet, who could have imagined there would come a time when I would be confronted with the reality that there was no escape?
Was I trapped in the world of this story that went nowhere? Doomed to repeat it for eternity?
That wasn’t something I could bear.
If only my memories would reset themselves every time a new loop started…
Why was I the only one who had to remember everything? If I could forget every time, I wouldn’t have to go through this despair, so why!?
Ah… if everything I do is meaningless, then I’d rather just shut myself up in my room. Let the Dark Organization steal all the star fragments, let the Evil God destroy the capital and kill people—anything was fine. I mean, this world wasn’t real. All those people were fictional, plus after a year, it would just reset again.
Even while having such thoughts, I still ended up leaving the palace with Noel. I was starting to resent my personality and position not allowing me to push aside the expectations of Father and the rest.
“Luca… what’s wrong? You look like you’re in pain. If you’re not feeling well, let’s take a rest.”
“I’m fine. Was just thinking about something. Thanks for worrying about me.” I smiled at her, but I didn’t really want to talk to Noel, so I shut my mouth straight afterward.
I was bitter with myself for automatically answering in a way not to make her worry even though she was just a made-up character.
Even the love I had nurtured for her when I still didn’t know anything was just a lie. Us connecting our bodies was just a way to make her likability increase and to trigger events. That was how this world worked.
Ugh, how disgusting.
The horse whinnied and I automatically drew my sword and cut down the vines that were creeping towards me.
As always, my physical ability had regressed, but I’d continued training and defeating monsters and had already accumulated five years of experience. Which was why it was easy to deal with a monster of this level.
Once I defeated the Ivy, I heard a whinny from behind. Oh, that’s right, if I didn’t take down the Ivy at the front, Noel would get caught by it.
When I turned around, as expected, Noel was hanging midair, hands and feet tied up by the vines. The tendrils had reached inappropriate places so her face was red and her eyes moist.
“S-sorry Luca… it grabbed my hand from behind before I could pull out my sword… huu.”
“Lightning”
I searched for its presence, then shot a spell towards the remaining Ivy that was hiding amongst the trees. As I did, the Ivy dissipated into magic particles and Noel fell on top of her waiting horse. She then slowly dragged herself off the horse and ended up sitting on the ground.
“Uu, Luca… Ha, ahn… u, nnn.”
No matter how much it seemed like she had her own will, Noel was just a character in a game. So, like restarting a book from the very beginning, the same thing kept repeating itself over and over again.
However, to me, who remembered everything, she just seemed like an idiotic woman who’d forgotten all the lessons she’d learned before. This was already the sixth time we’d encountered the Ivy. Couldn’t she just deal with it herself for once?
From Noel’s point of view, that was probably an unreasonable ask, but I still couldn’t help but let out an exasperated sigh.
Anyway, I couldn’t just leave her like that, so I took an antidote out of my magic bag and got off my horse.
“Here, Noel. An antidote for the aphrodisiac. Drink this and you’ll feel better in a bit.” I walked up to her and handed her the bottle.
As I got closer, she grabbed onto my leg.
“Luca, help me… Luca…”
“That’s why you should hurry up and drink the antidote. I’ll take out the tent so you can rest.”
Noel was looking up at me with teary eyes. I pried her hands off of me and handed her the bottle instead. Then I distanced myself from her a bit and set up the tent, paying no mind to the fact that this was the middle of the road. It wouldn’t be a problem if I blocked it for just thirty minutes, right?
Once the feverish Noel entered the tent without complaint, I closed its entrance. The tent was soundproofed, so even if she started moaning I wouldn’t hear her. And she too wouldn’t hear my voice.
“…Disgusting.” I spat out, as if to dispel the maelstrom of sensations swirling inside me.
I thought I held myself back well enough by not sending her flying the moment she grabbed onto me.
This was the world of a game. A game where favorability increased the more you slept with someone. Which meant that the love for Noel that I had steadily nurtured despite many twists and turns was all a sham. Noel was just a doll. A doll for me to sleep with and fall in love with.
I couldn’t help but feel… sick.
I couldn’t help but look at Noel coldly—couldn’t help but hold her in contempt.
Perhaps she could sense that because after leaving the tent, she seemed constantly uneasy. Maybe it was also because I was only saying the bare minimum to her.
Noel probably thought that my change in attitude was because she’d gotten swept up by the aphrodisiac and clung to me. I was grateful that she’d misunderstood and didn’t try to strike up a conversation because I was in no mood for one. I was struggling to figure out how to come to terms with this fake world.
A year that eternally repeated itself. Progress couldn’t be made, and any growth you made reverted back once you restarted. It wasn’t just Noel, the rest of the girls too; they would have forgotten the strength we’d gained together throughout this journey and gone back to the start. The memories and experiences we’d gained over our year together would only stay in my mind.
With Miranda too, who we were about to meet, I’d have to start from the beginning. On top of that, apparently, she’d fall in love with me if we had any physical relations. It’s no wonder I felt disgusted when thinking about it. Truthfully, I didn’t want to meet her.
Perhaps because of that strong feeling of rejection, or maybe because I was distracted, I found myself in a pickle despite it only being the 1st dungeon. We’d inadvertently stepped into a spawn room and monsters were appearing one after the other.
I could still deal with it. I at least had that much experience. But Noel wasn’t strong enough for that.
If it was Noel at the end of December, then maybe, but there was no way that Noel at the start of our journey would be fine surrounded by so many monsters even if they were only C-rank.
Perhaps that was why after hearing a faint shriek from behind me, Noel’s presence started to grow fainter.
“Noel… Noel!” I called out as I struck down the wolves that were attacking me. But no answer came.
I let out several Lightning spells to intimidate the monsters and turned around to look behind me. Noel was on the ground, wolves surrounding her body.
She was already dead.
Noel had… died.
Inside I felt an excruciating pain. It might have been sadness or maybe anger. However, Noel was just a puppet.
From the start, everything in this world was just fiction.
Which meant that I too wasn’t real.
If it wasn’t real anyway, then maybe if I died like this, the loop wouldn’t restart.
Thinking that, I let go of my sword. Taking advantage of that opportunity, a wolf lunged at my neck. My neck, my arms, my legs—they were being torn apart.
“Uu, ah, ugh, a, a…!”
It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts.
My blood was continuously spilling out. I couldn’t even tell if I was standing up or lying down.
Ah, it’s gotten cold. My head had gotten fuzzy and my vision blurred.
I was going to die. I was dying.
I’m scared. I don’t want to die.
But…
But if this will make it end. If this would release me from an eternity of suffering…
Luca…. :'(((
So sad..