Fake Saint of the Year

Translator: Tsukii

Editor: Geli

Read at Watashi wa Sugoi Desu!

Chapter 51: Unexpected Collaborators

I decided to stop thinking about stuff I wasn’t sure about, and turned my attention back to the turtle.

While there were some unexpected developments, I still managed to get the information I wanted to know.

The one who prophesied about the Saint’s birth was not the Prophet but the Oracle; the reason it was possible was because the Saint was the World’s representative, while the Prophet was the World’s spokesperson.

Its true identity was that of a long-lived turtle.

In the end, I didn’t manage to find out about “why events that happened here were being  projected as a game on the other side” but, I decided to leave that kind of investigation to the me on the other side and Ijuuin-san.

”I don’t know why there is a great difference between the ‘tale’ I observed and reality. But I do think that you are the person who can change the future. In the ‘tale’ I observed, the real Saint, Eterna, turned into the Witch and ended up killing herself by committing suicide.”

The things the turtle talked about were already familiar to me.

What I didn’t understand was why this turtle sounded like they wished to change such a future.

To it, Eterna was just a stranger, even if she was the real Saint.

So I didn’t understand why it wished to change that future.

While I also wished to change it, my reasons were more based on my own personal preference than anything else.

But for this turtle… well, I hated to say it, but wouldn’t it be better if things developed as it did in the game?

If Eterna became the Witch and committed suicide, the Witch’s power will have nowhere to go and the cycle of the Saint would definitely be broken.

From the World’s perspective, it wouldn’t be so bad for the end to develop that way.

…Toward the players who favored Eterna though, that was totally a Bad END.

“Kakaka, I see your expression shows that you don’t understand why I wish to change such an end? It’s not like I really wish to change it. It’s just, it is boring to see the World follow a script. Compared to that, I don’t think it would ever be boring to observe you. Not even I know how things will develop from now on.”

As I heard the turtle’s words, I was somewhat convinced.

I see. That’s easy to understand. Basically, it just wanted to enjoy itself, so it would prefer it if the future changed.

The turtle made a surprisingly human expression and smiled.

“So here’s the deal. Will you take me outside with you? I’m more interested in the tale of the fake Saint who’s more authentic than the real one. If it is you, I think the cycle that has continued for 1000 years may change. While I could see it from here, I would prefer to see it up close.”

“You sure have a weird taste. But I have no reason to bring you along with me.”

It seemed like it wanted to come along with me, but I politely refused its request.

Why should I have to bring along this turtle and keep it close to me?

Even with the title of the Prophet, it still was a turtle, so it was kind of smelly. Also, I was never a big fan of turtles to begin with.

In the first place, where would I even keep a turtle of this size?

Maybe in the guest area of my room? What a joke.

Anyway it’s impossible, you hindrance. Don’t try to go with me.

“Don’t say that, I will be useful. For example… Let’s see. The Prophet is unlike the Saint. I will be the one who will appoint my own successor. When that happens, all my remaining lifespan will be transferred to them and I, who will be released from my duty, will end up dying. So I have no intention of going through that at all.”

“I’m going home.”

“Wa, wait! Then how about this? 30 seconds from now, there will be a small earthquake. After that, a squirrel will fall down from the branches of the tree beside you.”

As the turtle said that, it pointed toward a tree with its head.

There was indeed a squirrel on one of its branches above me nibbling on the tree’s fruit.

As I was watching, exactly 30 seconds later, the ground shook and the squirrel fell down.

While I didn’t care that much about the squirrel, I still caught it with my palms and returned it to one of the tree’s branches.

If I was part of the Aynu people, I could’ve turned it into Citatap1

Even so, how did this turtle know when the earthquake would actually occur?

Perhaps it had actually cast magic on the ground … though it didn’t seem like it. I mean, if that was actually the case, there was no way I wouldn’t notice.

“I’ve heard the Prophet was the World’s spokesperson and it supposedly had no power to read the future, though…?”

“Yes, I possess no such power. But you see, I’ve lived 1000 years, and have observed various things that have happened around the World… As such, I’m able to grasp a lot of things. I can observe the variables of a situation around me, then predict the outcome with the highest probability. If I felt like it, I could predict what would happen if that Vernell boy ended up falling in love with Mary or Eterna instead, which is one of the possible Future (IF) Worlds. Obviously, it would only be a guess and not a prophecy, so it could be wrong and there might be differences in the details.”

What was that? It might’ve said such things lightly, but this Turtle was actually amazing.

If you knew everything that was happening in this moment, then you could predict the future… There was no way that’d be the case.

I read about something like that in a book before.

If everything that was happening in the World was from a combination of cause and effect – assuming everything was all connected by causality, then by knowing the cause that is the  present, you could make predictions about its effects on the future. I think it’s called Causal Determinism?

But I thought that such an idea has been completely rejected by modern science …

Well, said person (said turtle?) also said it could still be wrong, so it was basically just a high probability prediction, I guess.

“I can’t promise that I would be 100% accurate, but I could still be of help to you.”

“… And your real motive is?”

“To be honest, it’s tough being worshiped all alone by monkeys, whose language I haven’t been able to understand for such a long time. Bring me along. You could do that easily, couldn’t you?”

It had spoken like it was such a great person, but when I asked for its real motives, it caved in pretty quickly.

Yup, I should’ve known.

After all, I would gain no advantage at all for helping it.

It promoted its capabilities despite there being no real merit in them, so this meant it found its current environment unfavorable.

It had said that it starved for conversation, after all.

As I thought that, I could tell that this turtle’s line of thinking wasn’t “I could come along,” but rather “I don’t want to stay here.”

“… I understand. But I need to let King Aiz know about this first. Also…”

“I know. I won’t reveal your identity.”

I was about to remind it, but it had said what I meant to say beforehand.

I see. It was its prediction ability… huh.

It had already understood what I was about to say before I did, I think.

It was kind of hard to deal with, but depending on how I used it, it could be useful.

“There are also several…”

“As for my living space, I’m sorry, but I would need to depend on your magic to create a pond nearby the academy. It’s better if it’s located somewhere that is forbidden to enter for students. For my feed, I want ricefish, crayfish, as well as  vegetables. I don’t want crickets or earthworms. I’m already tired of eating those. As for my fighting capabilities, my jaw is strong enough to bite down most common demons, my shell is hard enough to protect against most attacks, and I am also capable of water magic to some extent, although it’s far cry from your abilities. Don’t depend on it too much.”

“…I see.”

As expected, this guy was hard to deal with. Oi.

I was about to confirm details about its habitat and feed, as well as its fighting power, but it answered before I even asked.

I felt a little miffed about it, so I thought about countering it a bit.

“‘Try to guess what I’m thinking about,’ is what you want to ask? Well then, you are currently thinking about things that have nothing to do with the current situation. Unfortunately, I can’t guess the specific contents, but… do I pass muster?”


Damn, it said my question before I could.

Just as it said, I was about to ask that.

By the way, what I was incidentally reminded about was an enemy character of a game I played a long time ago and its needlessly long and cool incantation.

It was hard to like this turtle.

It was hard to like it, but… but thanks to this turtle, I came to understand one thing.

That was, if I went all out on a barrier, not even the World could observe me inside of it.

Because it said that I was “Worthy of the title of Saint.”

But never forget. I called myself a “towering pile of shit where mushrooms grow in type of fake Saint” before while I was drowsy within the barrier

If they knew of this, then they should’ve known about my true colors already.

But there was no sign that this turtle had noticed that.

In other words, my barrier was strong enough to deceive the World.

I didn’t know whether this information was useful or not, but… you never know when things would be useful until you were in the moment itself, after all.

There was no harm in remembering that.

Anyway, let’s call the old man here.

Since I decided to bring the Prophet along, I needed to tell him about it beforehand.

I explained the situation to Old Man Aiz, then used my magic to transport the three of us toward the academy.

It was the same magic that I used when I flew to Billberry’s capital.

After we got the word to Headmaster Fox, I created a pond near the academy.

“But this is surprising… I was also shocked by the form of Prophet-sama, but I’m more surprised that Prophet-sama actually decided to leave its dwelling.”

As he said that, Headmaster Fox was looking at the turtle.

Well, obviously it was surprising.

Its shell alone was already sized at 5 meters and its height greatly exceeded that of a human. It was definitely more than 2 meters in height.

It was already akin to a monster.

Maybe it could retract its limbs and fly through the sky.

“Kakaka. This generation’s Saint is the type that I have never seen before, after all. I want to observe closely.”

“I see… Even by Prophet-sama’s standards, Elrise-sama is special.”

“Yes, she is special indeed. It is a pattern that has never occurred before in the past. Or To be exact, there was, but none have managed to become as perfect a Saint when compared to her.”

Old Man Aiz was talking to the turtle, but I was already thinking that it was a mistake to bring it along and regretting it.

Oi, Turtle. Don’t say any unnecessary things, okay?

It was alright to be exiled in the end, but it would be the worst if it happened at this moment.

Anyway, let’s hurry and create a pond for it before it could say unnecessary things.

First, I excavated the ground with earth magic, and made a crater with a radius of around 25 meters.

As for its depth, I guessed that about 20 – 30 meters should be okay.

Also… didn’t aquatic turtles need some areas where they could take shelter and camouflage?

So I formed a slope toward the shore, then crafted a hole for its hiding spot at the bottom.   

Then I placed gravel and stones at the bottom, and then filled it using water magic to turn it into a pond.

It was a little slapdash, but I thought it would be enough.

“How about this?”

“A, Aah… it’s enough. I will modify it later to suit my taste… Even so, I’ve known about your skillfulness, but it sure is amazing to look at it up close. You did it without any trouble, but there’s never been a Saint in the past who was capable of this feat.”

Looking at the turtle’s surprised expression, I kept a composed expression. However I was laughing triumphantly on the inside.

I kept getting surprised by you, who constantly got ahead of me a while ago, so I feel better now.

Well, you see?

Look, I’m such a genius, after all.

I could do these kinds of things without any problem after all.

…Well, it wasn’t exactly that simple though.

It was one thing to create a hole, but it was quite tiring to fill it up with this much water.

MP-wise, I would estimate that it would cost me around 5000 just for that.

It was something that would take dozens of minutes for the Witch if she kept draining the surroundings for MP.

Well, this Turtle should be aware of how drained I was, I guess.

Damn, it made me feel irritated. Annoying. I felt like I had lost for some reason.

I guess I need to train seriously for once, damn it…

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4 months ago

Hmm, so the turtle didn’t yet change Earth. We can only assume it or the MC to be behind such a specific pen name.
Her theory of time catching back can’t be right if they’re still in the past. It could’ve just taken that long for her soul to find her original. Or her going back forced the time flow to match.
Causal determinism wasn’t really disproved by modern science. At a quantum level, determinism fails when facing probabilities, but because the most stable configuration is always the most likely, things at bigger scale act deterministic because they are extremely likely to be. Meaning, an hypothetical Laplace’s demon couldn’t predict the next position of an electron, but it could predict the next move of an human.
Of course, there’s a tiny chance of things not acting deterministic, but the chances of it happening at a noticeable scale are so low it’d be a crazy occurence, maybe one in an universe.

8 months ago

I could only imagine master oogway complaining about monkey being a good but annoying disciple throughout this whole chapter

1 year ago

The turtle is a clairvoyant. Thats just op. I mean really op.

1 year ago

I guess I need to train seriously for once, damn it…

…………Elrise, I don’t think this world can handle a super-trained version of you…calm down!

Anyway, it’s interesting to know that even the Turle cannot fully predict Elrise. She’s able to do so much that it’s generally hard to predict based on any information previous. In fact, her very existence is unique to pretty much all history too… It even acted all flustered when Elrise first rejected taking it along, showing that such a path was also likely separate from its predictions.

It all just really drives home to point, once more, about how much of an unrealistic dream Elrise truly is to this world.

1 year ago

the citatap line is a reference to the Golden Kamui manga

1 year ago

Mmm doesn’t she have like 500k Mana or something?

Who Knows?
Who Knows?
1 year ago

Laplace’s turtle

1 year ago
Reply to  tsukiisite

He’s referencing Laplace’s Demon. Which itself is a term referencing Laplace’s idea of causal determinism that the author referenced in this chapter.

Minh Anh Le
Minh Anh Le
1 year ago

“it’s not who you are underneath, it’s what you do that define you”

1 year ago
Reply to  Minh Anh Le

Err, may you explain what that is?

Mr goose
Mr goose
1 year ago
Reply to  tsukii

I think she mean that what you do will show who you are

1 year ago
Reply to  Minh Anh Le

Remind me of kung fu panda 2.

2 years ago

LMAO… This one’s a very annoying turtle.

1 year ago
Reply to  Canelé

like most elderly would act

2 years ago

Yayyyy we have a pet turtle now….! How amazing~

1 year ago
Reply to  SuperPsyClone

well, the turtle is big one though

2 years ago

And when you make citatap, everyone should alternately finely chop the meat while chanting citatap, citatap… GoIden K@muy was such an enjoyable anime.

2 years ago
Reply to  Val

poor squirrels turned into foodstuffs

2 years ago

… I wonder if the turtle is treating her like that on purpose to get her to train harder?

Thanks for the chapter!

2 years ago
Reply to  Ungrave

maybe turtle just to try to convince her it was worth to bring it along with her