Fake Saint of the Year
Read at Watashi wa Sugoi Desu!
After Story: The Whereabouts of the Photograph (First Part)
As I moved through the sea while deploying a barrier, I surveyed the ruins of a civilization.
I was taking a walk through the ruins of Saito Maruta… I mean, the Sitnalta Empire, and I was wandering around there today.
Since it has been submerged in the sea for over a thousand years, anything metallic there was fully coated in rust; the buildings were also all dilapidated, but it was still fun to look at.
As for why I was doing this, it was because the demons were now extinct. As such, I could no longer do musou play against them, and so I had to find an alternative hobby instead.
So, my latest hobby at the moment was visiting archeological sites.
I was also hoping a bit that I might be able to find something interesting if I explored this civilization that had once developed so much.
With such casual feelings, I went around the ruins and then entered a place which caught my eye. It looked like a museum. There was a model car left in one of the glass cases.
Even though I called it a glass case, it was all broken and the model car inside was already severely damaged. However, it still retained its original shape somewhat, so if I brought it back home and removed the rust, I could probably use it to decorate my house.
Deeper within was a metal box. I tried to open it, but it was tightly closed and so full of rust that it couldn’t be opened normally.
Well, I could easily break the box using my magic, so I decided to bring it above ground and open it there.
Perhaps the contents were nothing but garbage, but even if it was, I could just enjoy the feeling of finding out what was within.
With that in mind, I decided that was all the archeological exploration I was going to do for the day and returned above ground; as soon as I’d left, I slashed one side of the box open using a magically created sword of light.
Then the thing inside came spilling out of the box. After looking over the contents, I determined that the thing that came out was…
It was an object that looked like a camera. It was preserved surprisingly well, so perhaps the box itself contained some sort of magic for that purpose.
It was said that the Sitnalta Empire was the one responsible for opening the hole that connected this world to Earth, so it was possible that they made use of spatial magic to seal it within the box.
There were no photographs that depicted that era among the items in the box, but since the object had been tightly sealed, perhaps it had been considered a very valuable item.
However, there was the possibility that the object was actually an unknown weapon that just happened to have a shape of camera, or some sort of object that could harm one’s body, so I decided to test it out first.
Worst case scenario in mind, I kept my barrier deployed the whole time so that even if it exploded, I wouldn’t be harmed.
So after testing it out in various ways the result was that… yep, it was just a normal camera.
Nothing popped out from it. It didn’t explode, or emit harmful substances. It was just a normal camera.
I tried taking pictures of the beach, the birds, and even formed a golem that I then used to take a photo of myself, but after thinking about it some more, I realized I had no idea how to develop the film.
According to a video I had seen before, it needed several sorts of tools, a dark room, and some sort of solution, but said video also never showed “how exactly it was used.” As such, I’d merely watched the video without really understanding a thing.
Moreover, I used up all the film so I couldn’t take any more photos. Now I’ve done it.
What should I do about this…? Not only did I use up all the precious film, I also had no idea how to develop it. It was just way too stupid.
By the way, I had no idea how the film was made either.
I’d heard it was made of silver halide or something, but that was about it.
I might’ve been able to search for it if I had access to the internet, but there was no such convenience here.
I only have superficial knowledge, you say? Shut it. If people were asked “What is camera film made of?” I think only a few people would be able to answer it if they didn’t have internet access to help search for the answer.
So that means that I shouldn’t have played with it and entrusted it to a wise scholar instead? …You’re right!
Even if I contemplated it now, it wouldn’t change the situation. It was completely after the fact already.
There was no use crying over spilled milk.
Fortunately, the camera itself has been well preserved for over a thousand years, so I figured that was enough to make it a valuable resource.
—Well, that’s what I’d thought, but I got help from an unexpected place.
When I returned to the forest, the monkeys (guardians) reacted to the camera I brought so I lent it to them. As a result, they were able to develop the photos.
Moreover, the photographs of that era had also remained in the negative; these depicted what had once been a civilized cityscape before it was all destroyed by the Witch, as well as the types of people living there.
I was also quite surprised by this. Even though these monkeys (guardians) had appearances that suggested they had abandoned civilization, they were actually capable of developing photos for some reason.
But well, thinking about it after, they were also able to operate steam locomotives for some reason, so… I supposed I shouldn’t think too deeply about it.
Anyway, it presented valuable documentation of how life was a thousand years ago, and at the same time, there was no point in me just possessing them.
So when a soldier came to visit for the regular check-in, I pushed the pictures to this soldier and told them to deliver it to Old Man Aiz.
…Then a few days later, it was reported that a part of the documentation was stolen after they were attacked by bandits during its transportation.
When I arrived at the capital of the Billberry Kingdom, most of the important people were already gathered.
There was Old Man Aiz, the chief bishop of the Saint’s church, several knights, the leading aristocrats within the nation, the Perverted Glasses Bastard for some reason, as well as Vernell, who happened to be on a break from his training and had headed to this place.
I felt that he was even more rugged than before.
He sure grew sturdier every time I saw him…
“Elrise-sama, our deepest apologies… even though Elrise-sama already went through the trouble of delivering the precious documentation of a civilization from a thousand years ago…”
Old Man Aiz looked very depressed… but the camera was present and undamaged on the table.
Huh? The camera is there. Then, what got stolen was just the photos?
But there were some pictures spread out alongside the camera.
“Fortunately this… camera is safe. But according to the soldiers who had transported it, some of the elaborate paintings included were stolen.”
“I see. I will confirm it in a bit.”
After saying my piece, I picked up the photos.
I wonder what was stolen? If it was a photo from a thousand years ago, then it would be quite a shame.
There was no replacement for that after all.
Or so I thought, but all of the photos from a thousand years ago were there.
Huh? What, so it isn’t that big of a deal after all. The soldiers who transported it sure are capable people.
“Ah, it’s alright. All the important photos are safe.”
“Yes. Be it the camera itself and the photos from a thousand years ago, all are here.”
“I’m glad then… but in that case, what are things that the bandits stole…”
“Aah, about that, I took some pictures when I was trying out the camera, so I guess it must be those photos that got stolen.”
When I said that, everyone present clearly looked relieved.
I could only say that we were lucky here.
All important documentation was safe, and the things stolen were just photos of landscapes.
“That’s great. Considering how elaborate the pictures are, it is quite a shame that they were stolen, but I guess there’s no need to make too much fuss over it then. By the way, what pictures did you take?”
“Err, if I recall correctly… there’s a picture of the sea, the beach… some birds that flew nearby…”
As I talked about the contents of photos I took, the relieved atmosphere spread.
They were truly glad that none of the things that got stolen were that big of a deal.
Did I take another photo? I think at the end… oh yea, I did use a golem to carry the camera…
“Ah, I also took a picture of myself.”
—At that moment, the mood of everyone present changed… Or at least, I felt so.
Everyone, long time no see.
Thanks to everyone, it has been decided that volume three of the Fake Saint light novel would be released by 10th June 2022!
Details can be read at the Kakuyomu activity report, so please take a look if you are interested.
There will be additional benefits of SS for ordering from these stores.
The last part of this story will be updated by 10th of June.
Well then, let’s meet again at the release date.
T/N: Personally, I think either Leila or Supple is guilty of the theft. Who do you think it was? Please let me know your guess, thanks.
Want early access to YEET Lady, Cannon Fodder, Melancholy of the Demon Army Officer, and I Was a Man Before Reincarnating, So I Refuse a Reverse Harem? Support the translator on Patreon!
hmm… looks like we’re all thinking the same thing… the culprit is…
yeah, but it might be a misleading answer
Thanks for chapter~
Foto Elrise-sama dicuri?
Itu bahkan 1000x lebih berharga dari peradaban 1000 tahun yg lalu lol.
Tidak sabar chapter part 2nya
lanjutan udah siap, tinggal baca gan
They’re speaking the language of the gods (⊙.⊙)
we’re not. it’s Indonesian. sorry if you couldn’t understand
when is the sched for next update?
next sunday for public release, already released for patreon.
Only her pictures…? Well… That’s certainly… Suspicious… Hmm…
Indeed… as for the answer… wait for next chapter next week, or go for early access at patreon
Is it possible for elrise to use dark magic?
nope she couldn’t. she already disperse the power by the time she revived Alexia from her seal.
I just wonder if she could learn to use it I mean people in the ancient civilizations seem to able to use the dark power
like the punchline emperor
There’s no need to, since like she mention, it no longer necessary that Elrise erased it herself
she prefer enjoying her retired life anyway
HAHAHAHAHAHA, ELRISE’S PICTURES HAVE BEEN STOLEN AND THE BANDITS WILL NOT BE SAFE!!!
Moreover, it’s a premium pic that only one existed in whole Fiori
its still aliveee
the hero stil aliveeee
still alive… GlaDos?
Тhаnk fоr thе сhарtеr ^^
Really really really lucky me! I check this because I want to reread and found a new chapter! really lucky me(again) ^^
P.S. the criminal is……Vernell! because that perverted glasses doesn’t has a gut to possess the holy relic XD
Glad you enjoyed it!
btw, the next chapter already available to patreon by now, or edited one about a week later.
as for the answer… you could read it there
I thought I was reading a finished novel but… I guess I’m just caught up? Yeah, I know these are just bonus stories but I’m excited to see how this ends! In… like… a week. Ah, I stayed up all night reading just to finish it but it wasn’t done.
Anyway, the captured image of Saint-sama is too valuable. Anyone who gains possession of it must be confident in facing a threat larger than any witch has faced before (excluding our dear Saint-sama of course).
That’s right, those bandits are looking to die
Moment of silence to those bandits
It is more than that. Elrise is practically living god to that world, anyone with the possession of it could gain great influence. and yeah, it could trigger war.
Fridge logic for this novel is deep.
The guardians ancestor thought that if they regressed to animal levels then they can wait out the demon horde after they wiped out humanity and no longer have negative human emotions to sustain them, then they can rebuild their civilization.
Somehow either with rigorous education passed down the generations or they somehow inserted technical knowledge into their genes to allow current generation guardians be able to operate gadgets from a thousand years ago.
i thought they were some clan who reject Sitnalta Empire’s way but exiled before First Witch lay waste on them
Thanks for translating!
thx for the comment!
While Prime suspect seem to be Supplement (and Leila) I feel that it must be another people so that it will be more funny.
/Stare at Vernell
Considering Elrise status of practically the god(?) of the world to its people, anyone could do it.
And then the era of humans has come to pass, commiting countless atrocities more vile than the generations of witches ever did upon eachother for one photograph.
Such is the beginning of another cycle of tragedy…
Obviously, because Elris knows about this
At least she didn’t know where is it at the moment
>the suspect doesn’t took anything but the photos Elrise took
>suspected as bandit(s)
>they must’ve known what’s inside the shipment because people inside that world wouldn’t know what photo is
Yep, it’s both of them, fetch Supple and Leila ASAP
yeah, it’s either those two, most likely.
we’ll see the truth by the next chap post, unedited one available at patreon now, edited one next week
I love this so much!!
glad you love it.
A new war happen after this!!! A war that more tragic than before… Just because of single picture. My intuition tell me that culprit is that stalker. Also thank for the bring us the new translation.
The culprit is definitely that glasses bastard for sure lmao
it’s funny how most people cast doubt on Supple here…
it is later known as photograph war.
I really miss this so much. That Perverted Glasses Bastard shouldn’t be allowed to keep the photo.
what would happen to the photo? would it be spread to the masses or kept in saint church/any other public place/ destroyed to prevent future crime?
Thanks for the chapter~
thx for the comment!