In Love With the Strongest Man
Translator: Shizukuku
Editor: Helen
Read at Watashi wa Sugoi Desu!
Arc 4 Desire
Chapter 7 “Unfortunately, I don’t fall in love.”
“Shuka-san, what’s wrong? Are you having chest contractions…?”
Ideal called out to me in concern as he observed my strange behavior. Abruptly, I realized that I was clutching my chest.
I felt my heart beating stronger than ever before against my palms. I hastily pulled my hands away and sweat began to bead all over my body as I searched for a suitable lie.
“N-no. I just had a dream. I was half-asleep and, well… confused…”
I am confused, and I couldn’t put it in the past tense. I felt sorry for worrying Ideal, yet I was incredibly happy that he was concerned about me. Just feeling his eyes on me made me feel like I might start grinning uncontrollably.
This was all so new to me. It was so embarrassing. I wanted to disappear. But I also wanted to go closer to him. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to run away. I wanted to touch him. I wanted him to touch me.
Just having Ideal in my sight made my head feel like it was boiling over with a rush of emotions, so I hastily looked away and lowered my head.
“Shuka-san. If—I’m sorry if you don’t like this.”
“!?”
Suddenly, I was enveloped in warmth. In one swift move, Ideal had closed the distance between us and wrapped me tightly in his arms.
“…?!”
“It seemed like you wanted this.”
“Wha… wha… wha…!?”
We were both still naked. Skin-to-skin contact was a potent sensation for someone who had just become aware of their feelings of love. Words failed me, and my thoughts were thrown into complete disarray.
“I’m glad you’re not sick or anything…”
“Uh…”
My entire body felt like it was melting into his warm arms. Unconsciously, I wrapped my arms around his back, hugging him in return. My arms, unable to muster much strength, felt frustratingly weak.
As I breathed in, a cool, faintly sweet scent filled my nose. Realizing it was Ideal’s scent, I got lost in a daze, pressing my face against his neck.
—How long had we been in this position? By the time I finally came to my senses, his large hand was stroking my hair, and his lips were grazing my ear.
“—..!! Please, let go… let go…”
“…Just a little longer, okay?”
“Uhhhh…”
“…I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
I slipped out of his arms, which had slackened, and escaped to the corner of the room. I tried to keep out of sight of Ideal, who furrowed his brow, and wondered what had just happened.
I-I-I made such a mess just from hugging…! I mean, Ideal said, “It seemed like you wanted this.” …So that means…
I remembered. —Ideal’s incubus powers. That was one of them.
“Ah, you could sense my desire…?”
“Well… I understood it…”
It felt as if my heart had turned cold all at once. So, Ideal had found out. About my feelings for him. About my shameful passion.
“But…”
However, Ideal lowered his brows and shook his head.
“I don’t know any details. It’s not like I can read it like words, so it’s abstract. Especially with you, Shuka-san, it’s hard to tell… Even earlier, I just had a vague feeling that you were longing for some human touch.”
“Human touch…”
I felt both relieved and overwhelmed by a sense of shame.
I had indeed really wanted to touch and be touched. My face felt like it was on fire.
“Hey, Shuka-san. In the dream, who did you see…?”
“Who…?”
Ideal’s sulky tone made half of my heart hopeful. In other words—though it was a bit self-indulgent—I thought he might be jealous of whoever appeared in my dream.
The other half of my heart clung to a sliver of rationality. There was no way this alluring incubus would be attracted to an older, fallen, scarred little man like me.
However, looking back on his past actions with a rose-tinted lens, I felt that I could sense traces of jealousy. And not just some jealousy, but a simmering, intense obsession. I couldn’t deny the hope that welled up inside me, even though I knew it only looked that way because I wanted to see it that way.
Maybe, we… both love each other?
It was Ideal who appeared in my dream. But out of anticipation and trepidation, I hesitated to answer his question clearly.
“…Why do you care about that?”
What came out of my mouth was a sneaky way of answering his question with another question. I was now swept up in the emotion of love, and I could only choose between shouting that I loved him or vague evasions.
“That’s—”
However, regret immediately washed over me at the sound of Ideal’s troubled voice.
—Sorry, I actually had a dream about you.
—Remember when you asked me to be your wife a long time ago? That promise has always been a source of comfort to me, and now I’ve fallen in love with you.
Those words were on the verge of bursting out. If I had just one more second, I would have spilled everything.
But, that didn’t happen.
“I was just a little curious. Never mind, it’s not really any of my business anyway.”
His words, which seemed to push me away, made the blood drain from my face and left my whole body feeling as if it were buried in snow.
“Ah, right.”
It was a miracle that there was no tremor in my voice.
That’s right. What was I thinking, getting so full of myself—misunderstanding everything like that?
If I had stayed calm, I would have realized it immediately. That Ideal didn’t like me. There’s no way he could.
How could I have forgotten until now?
“Unfortunately, I don’t fall in love.”
Right, I had been told that up front.
I built a box in my heart. A sturdy box with a lock.
I’ll forget about my love for Ideal.
I locked my newly realized love inside.
If I could occasionally take it out and look at it as a fond memory, then that would be enough.
I couldn’t let Ideal suspect any more of my desires. He was a kind man whose life I saved in the past. If he knew about my feelings, it would trouble him. So, I decided to limit even my memories of it.
He only embraced me because of the curse and the debt he felt he owed me.
I had to live without forgetting that fact.
But if Ideal were to fall in love with someone in the future…
I had never intended to fall in love, nor did I have any interest in it. But love had come to me nonetheless, so perhaps in the future, Ideal might also find someone he loves.
When a time like that comes, my existence will undoubtedly become a hindrance. This curse was my problem to deal with.
I’ll disappear without hesitation.
I no longer feared losing my life. I didn’t actively want to die, but I would rather take the box that contained my love to the grave with me than drag anyone else along into this curse.
Yet, as long as I could forgive myself for being dishonest, I wanted to be closer to him. As long as Ideal wished for my happiness, I wondered if it would be alright to stay by his side.
…I hope Ideal doesn’t find someone to love.
As those emotions surfaced like bubbles in my heart, I popped and erased them before putting them into the box.
QC Note: The TL is taking a break until September. See you then!