Read at Watashi wa Sugoi Desu!
Chapter 38, Part 3
Sleepchaser, mii, Chiizuholic, ASplashofMusic, and Brighton have done such an amazing job that it is tough to follow. But I just can’t wait to read more about Lian and Alfred. Thank you for trusting us to continue your work!
– evelet and the feline overlords, and Adel
If you haven’t read the story so far, go to Perpetual Daydreams and catch up (https://perpetualdaydreams.com/novel/nhad/nhad-tl/)! For those of you who are caught up, we are picking up right where perpetual daydreams left off! Alright: Ready? Set. Go!
“Thank you, Schwede…sorry— ‘Sir Knight of the Sword.'”1
The Goddess’ oracle was important, so it could have used better phrasing, but… I thank her immensely for hearing and responding to my prayer and for the fact she was able to bring the debacle to a close.
Schwede looks back at me with a smile and quietly shakes his head.
“No, I was only following the words of the Goddess. You do not need to thank me. Furthermore, even if you return to that village right now, that horrible future… the fate of that village… it may never change.”
Schwede’s smile fades away, as he quietly looks at me with his dawn-colored eyes.
It is as if his eyes are asking me a question.
I can hear concern concealed in his words.
He is—despite being a zealot who acts blindly out of faith and loyalty to an extreme—actually a nice person.
Perhaps he is actually worried about me.
I worry as well. I also worry that I will die in the fiery fate that awaits that village.
I look back into his darkening pupils, opening my mouth to answer the question that was hidden in his statement.
“No. You don’t know what the future holds. No one knows. Not even the Goddess. The future: The future is not cast and set, heading towards only one destination. It is undecided. Even the goddess said the probability wasn’t exactly zero. So I thought I would change it— No, I promised to change it. I promised the Goddess— I promised him. So I will not run away. I have to change it. No, I will change it ─ completely.”
Dawn-colored eyes stare back at me silently.
After a while, he exhales a long breath.
Then he shrugs as if there was nothing left he can do about it. He smiles.
“…I see. So then, what about me? Will you promise me too?”
I smile widely and nod emphatically.
Of course I will.
That’s why I’ve been putting my blood, sweat, and tears into everything so far.
So that everyone, including me, will be saved.
“Yes. I promise.”
Schwede nods in a big way, showing his approval.
“…I understand. I’ll tell my boss this as well.”
…The guy who is stubborn and short-tempered and speaks in a loud voice? I wish Schwede luck with this one.
“…Thank you for your assistance…” I reply.
“…Heh, you have such a worried look on your face. Don’t worry. He is stubborn, but not unreasonable. I am sure he will understand, I think… It’s likely the Goddess has also spoken to him.”
“…I… I see, is that so?…”
…Does that mean… that he is going?
I’m unsettled by it all, to say the least.
Her electric power, I don’t know if it’s because she is on an emergency safe mode due to using up all her divine power or so-to-speak electrical power, but it seems like her judgment has become a little more immature ─ or maybe it’s more energy efficient?2
I’d like to say it’s all in my head, but it’s pretty incredible. She sniffled and cried just like a child too.
If it’s just because she is in emergency safe mode, then that’s fine… but if this is her personality, then we would be in serious trouble. That would mean she will be this childish even if her divine power is completely restored! Correcting your personality is incredibly difficult; it’s something that takes a long time and a lot of patience.
I don’t know if I’ll be able to take care of everything if I have to wait for her personality to be corrected. I thought all I had to do was teach some common sense to the blonde-headed kid and head him in the right direction.
Schwede looks at me and suddenly bursts out laughing; I can even see his shoulders heaving as he guffaws wildly.
What the hell is wrong with this bastard?
What is he laughing at; it’s so rude! He told me not to worry, but of course I worry. Who wouldn’t worry in a situation like this?
This time, from what I understand, even the Goddess is upset.
Well, it is possible that’s because I didn’t keep my speech to the Goddess a secret, or even a whisper. I should have kept it quiet; I at least know that much.
It should have been something I thought about calmly, aware of what the aftermath could bring. I never should have put my personal feelings into it.
Yelling at the Goddess and revealing your connection to them is usually a red card or a death flag.
If I communicate carelessly, it could make my life extremely difficult later. Speaking to the Goddess is an act that requires care and planning, rather than a burst of emotion.
Oh… I see.
Maybe that’s why creating an entire world is so difficult.
The Goddess said that before. She said some gods have failed more than 100 times. Maybe they fail that way because they speak to the divine carelessly, without thinking it through and sorting out their emotions. My sneaking suspicion is starting to feel like fact. But what do I know?
I’m just an ordinary person; I have no experience in what it is like to be a god or goddess.
Schwede points out that I am injured and need healing; he gestures at one of the monks downstairs and calls them by name.
He points at me, and then leaves, likely to give instructions to the knights and the bishops who were caught up in the mess.
The priest who was ordered to come over to me does so, but looks terrified. He asks me if I was hurt.
The name sounds familiar. He has thin-looking eyes, and the hair on his head looks like a bird’s nest.
I know this priest.
This is the priest who brought Efa to the village. His name is Charis Pisti.
My memory of that time is not as good as it should be and is scattered with so many things. The impact of Efa and Schutzer showing up in the village was too strong and changed too much about the plotline that so many things started becoming vague in my memory… I’m sorry.
I apologize to Charis in my heart.
“There’s no way, how could it come to this… and Sir Schutzer had Lord Lian, rather the ‘Angel,’ locked up like that. What should I do? Myself, I’m completely shaken and overwhelmed. I’m sorry… I don’t know what to do.”
I shake my head at Pisti, who keeps apologizing over and over.
It’s not all his fault.
In the first place, nobody here has any real say in what is done. I at least know that much.
If anyone, it would be the archbishop of the branch who had some say in church governance. He only has to obey that.
For the present, I ask him to stop calling me “Angel.”
Charis puts his hand over his mouth, his face blue, and says, “I understand.” Every time someone calls me that I can feel another layer of my mental fortitude being stripped away.
He asks me if I have any pain, and I’m honest with him, telling him my shoulders feel hot and painful.
Pisti holds his hands over my shoulders and begins to chant verses, though they sound rather like songs.
His palms begin to glow a pale white, and I feel a warmth overtake my shoulders. Little by little, the pain fades away.
This is one of the sacred arts, “Healing Light.”
─The spell gives a person the sacred power to heal another person; the power is granted by the Goddess who watches over the world.
When Marie told me about the spell, she explained that the amount of divine power varies depending on the person, just like magical power does.
It can be increased by intense practice and training, but for the most part it is innate. It is also said that physical ability has an influence on it as well.
Efa, who is the future saint, has a disproportionately large amount of divine power due to her inherited blood.
This is probably one of the “Blessings” that have been given to Efa, as a person who was favored by the God.
After Charis heals me, I thank him.
I bow my head deeply to him, thoughts of shame filling my head.
Alfred just went on a rampage, breaking and smashing everything in his path. He even hurt some people. He acted like a spoiled little brat and put everyone in peril. He stood in the sanctuary hall with his hands in fists and deserves to receive a long scolding in the church’s room of penitence, but still I make the request.
“Will you…. will you please heal him?…”
Pisti smiles, saying “Of course.”
He politely heals the injured blond man-child.
What a nice person. I think I’m a good person, but if I were, it wouldn’t explain why my chest hurts. A good person like him has an aura that pierces my heart. I thank him truly, truly, deep in my heart and apologize profusely.
Pisti gets up and leaves.
I then tap on Alfred’s back a few times. He is still clinging to me despite the treatment, and neither of us has gotten up at all.
While we both sit on the floor, he holds me in such a tight embrace that I can’t stand up even if I wanted to. I am at a complete standstill. I can’t even move.
The stares of the people around us who have begun to clean up and walk past us are starting to make me uncomfortable. I can tell they are wondering what type of relationship we have. But it can’t be helped. At the very least, I would like to move a little bit.
“…Alfred, if anything were to happen ─ we should go to the village.”
The blond-headed problem child twitches.
He nods his neck slightly.
He is stupidly hugging me with too much strength as usual. I wish he would relax a little bit. My chest hurts a little and my back even more.
Then, he starts moving again.
I sigh and wonder what is happening.
I am at a loss. I call his name again and his hair rubs up under my chin.
The golden hair tickles my neck. It is hard, but still fluffy and smooth, so it isn’t that bad.
No matter what I say, he won’t speak a word back to me… Is he still angry with me?
…No, of course he is angry. He should be angry.
I know that I have done something to make him angry.
“I’m sorry… Alfred, I’m really sorry… I’m sorry I went off without saying anything to you… I know I caused you a lot of grief. Not just you, but everyone else too… I lied…and I hurt you… I’m so sorry.”
There was no reply.
…What am I to do?
It seems like he must be extremely angry with me.
“…I mean it. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, Alfred… ─Do you… Do you hate me…?”
…I lied… I lied and hurt him… I can’t fix it, I should just shut up and go away quietly.
I wait for a reply, but hear only silence from him.
I feel like crying. I finally settle on the thought that he must hate me. Depression overtakes me and I feel a bottomless pit form in my heart. I think he would never forgive me, and am an empty void with no solutions. I think to myself, what am I talking about, there’s nothing I can do to fix this now. I ridicule myself for having done such a despicable thing as I sink deeper and deeper into the pit in my heart.
The blond head pressed up against my chest moves slowly side-to-side.
When I notice, when I understand the meaning of that gesture… the backs of my eyes start burning, painfully burning, and the back of my throat quivers.
“…Thank… Thank you…”
I can’t control myself as I hug his head to my chest tightly, and he hugs me back. Strongly.
The area near my neck where his face was pressed against me ─ feels damp.
“…Hey. Will you… Will you always… always stay by my side… Will you… Will you give that to me?”
To be asked such a thing with a trembling voice where the boundaries of the words blurred.
“Hey, will you say it to me? Forever… ─ You won’t leave me, and go back to the goddess, will you…?”
My breath catches in my chest.