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Extra chapter 5 – Melancholy of Elizabeth
A/N : This chapter is from Elizabeth’s point of view
After confirming that Miko-sama was still talking with Prince Najika, I called out to Jill-sama.
“Jill-sama, would you like to have a talk with me on the balcony?”
“No, I’ll stay here.”
“Ara, how heartless. Now that we’re able to meet again, I want to talk with you alone.”
“I don’t want to talk with a lady alone.”
“Then, please accompany me for a bit. Is it alright? If you don’t listen to my request now, I’ll keep pestering you until you give me a chance. Maybe it would be nice to visit Dynas for the first time in a long while.”
Jill-sama sighed and reluctantly headed to the balcony.
I hadn’t seen Jill-sama for a decade. After all those years, he’d become more handsome.
When he was still the Crown Prince, his aura was that of a dazzling and refreshing young man. He was like the ideal prince from one of those fairy tales, and I was quite proud of my beautiful fiancé.
But as he got older, the aura around him became dignified and mature. Specifically, he became a formidable man and oozed with a sex appeal akin to well-ripened fruit, a refined taste full of intricacy fostered by his experiences. He was, in all his glory, a man in his prime.
I was the one that brought an end to our relationship, but years had passed since then, and there was always a bittersweet pain in my heart whenever I thought of him.
In retrospect, the moments I spent with him as his fiancé were the happiest days of my life.
And now, I was a bit overjoyed to meet my ex-fiance since I thought I would never get to see him again.
In fact, I was so ecstatic that, perhaps, I was becoming hopeful… like a fool. I was hoping that Jill-sama would bring change to this boring life of mine.
We talked about our current situation and our past for a while.
We talked to each other about our circumstances, but most of the time, I carried the conversation one-sidedly. We also had a bit of alcohol to drink, so the mood was becoming mellow and no longer as stiff as before.
As I stared at his masculine profile in this enclosed space, I felt like I was back in the days when we were together. Just he and I, and no one else.
The ambience of the night seemed to be aiding me, so I felt bolstered by it. I gradually became more and more daring in my approach.
“Being like this, does it not feel like we’re back to those days? Back then, you really cared for me, but I did not know nor did I understand how happy you made me. Even now, I sometimes believe that I would have been better off beside you.”
I stared at him as I said those words, but he merely shrugged.
“As for me, now I can only say, ‘is that so?’”
There was no trace of sweetness in his voice. Likewise, I felt not a shred of friendliness from him like those between close friends.
At his admission, the joy I felt cooled down in the blink of an eye.
It was not like I wanted him to admit that he felt the same as I did. But it would have been nice if he just went along with me while I was reminiscing about those beautiful memories.
Really, this aspect of you didn’t change at all. Jill-sama was not the type to say such words out of politeness or flattery. Rather, he would only employ such words if he was in a situation that merited it, much like in politics.
The mood was no longer as casual as before, and I hurried to change it. In my haste, I asked him a question.
“Jill-sama, are you seeing someone right now?”
“I still don’t have a lover yet, but I’m in the process of pursuing that person at the moment.”
“… It can’t be… Are you referring to Miko-sama…?”
“…I see. …If that person stays at Dynas, it’ll be beneficial to the Dynas Empire. Anyway, Miko is a person who is able to use advanced healing magic that can cure even lost limbs, so you can’t compare him with other magicians. Even after purification is finished, he’ll still be able to play an active role in this world.”
“It’s not like that. I don’t mind if he leaves Dynas. If he lets me, I’ll follow him wherever he goes.”
“Well, he must be a very charming person for you to speak like this… And above all else, I’m glad to know that you’re happy.”
Silence ensued after I spoke.
“Isn’t there something you still want to say to me?”
“… Yes, it’s just that I wanted to immerse myself a little more in those good old memories in an attempt to make myself feel better.”
“And are you feeling better now?”
“Fufuu… Isn’t it romantic for ex-fiances to meet after more than a decade has passed? Although, I don’t think there are any romantic feelings between us. Even though we were engaged back then, we seemed more like siblings than lovers.”
“I’m living a mundane life now, so I was looking forward to meeting with you, Jill-sama. My husband must have already forgotten my existence and even my sons are more attached to their wet nurse than me.”1
“… I see.”
After giving me a short answer, he looked at me.
“Shall we go back to the hall?”
“… Yes. Thank you for giving me some of your time. I’m glad to have had this comfortable conversation with you. I’ll adjourn after I get some fresh air, so please go ahead.”
“Then, please excuse me.”
Without any hesitation, Jill-sama quickly turned away and returned to the hall room.
I stared at his retreating back. This time would undoubtedly be the very last time I would get to see those unique, and slightly hazy blue eyes. The eyes that I used to love with all my being.
Just as in the past, I simply wanted to see those eyes open gently.
By my lonesome on the balcony, I leaned against the cold railing.
I recalled back the words we had exchanged before his departure. I couldn’t help but laugh at his flawless responses.
I wished I could tell my past self before I talked with Jill-sama that, ‘you shouldn’t have done that because you would only end up feeling miserable.’
Even though I sought to talk with him, I wasn’t expecting something fortuitous to come out of it and happen to me at this point in time. But, just for a little while, I only wanted to feel better by thinking of what I used to have – what we used to have so long ago in that distant past.
“… Honestly, what was I even expecting…?”
My words rode high into the wind and fell into the darkness, heard by none other than myself.