Translator: Tsukii

Editor: Sunshine

Read at Watashi wa Sugoi Desu!

Chapter 22 – Despair desuwa

Even as I continued to search for the magic sword, I took my academy lessons seriously and got excellent results on my tests. I had no problem with general education thanks to my memories from my previous life, and I was also a lady who excelled in magic theory, after all. The magic in this world was activated through magic circles, but optimal solutions were constructed differently for each individual, so it was difficult to make a proper theory of it.

I guess it felt similar to programming. Use mana to draw a magic circle and activate it by combining symbols within. To give an easy example, it would be [Turn – self – mana – into – fire – and – shoot – to – that direction.] It was a hassle because I had to decide what phenomenon needed to occur for the magic to activate.　

Regarding the conversion of mana, there were many compatibilities and incompatibilities depending on the mana quality of the individual. I was highly compatible with fire and wind, but I also could convert mana to water, even if I wasn’t as compatible.　

 Humans have an organ that produces magic elements that make up mana and we use those to create a magic circle, but that doesn’t mean we can’t utilize mana that is outside of the body; that’s why Abraham, who barely has any mana, could still shoot fire or water if he worked extremely hard. The only problem is that it is very difficult to do so.　

It is easier to detect mana within our body and adjust it accordingly than to use mana from outside of the body. There were too many steps involving specifying mana outside the body, so it wasn’t applicable for practical battle desuwa. I felt like the magic sword on Abraham’s right arm absorbed the mana outside his body, but if that was really the case, it was weird that he was incapable of using magic.　

In the end, I failed to earn the top grade due to my lack of attendance, but I still ranked 2^nd. Instead, it was Makina, who I ordered to monitor Maria’s movement in the academy, who achieved the top grade. As for Makia? She got an average score right in the middle as if she aimed for it, so she naturally settled on the middle rank desuwa.

Mei’s magic-related grade wasn’t that good, but she still managed to rank in the single digits in total. Since there were 446 students, ranking in the single digits proved how capable she was. There were 460 students at the start of the year, but 14 people dropped out of the academy after just half a year, but this was considered normal. Even without me YEETing them out of the academy, the academy side would YEET them or they quit of their own volition. It was unforgivable. 　

“So, this is the magic sword?”　

“Yes. This magic sword would make its wielder want to commit suicide, so I tested it on 3 crime slaves. As a result, 2 of them cut their own stomach before we could stop them and died. We managed to stop one of them, but the member of the knight brigade who took the sword pushed the crime slave away and committed suicide himself.”

Because there was one month of vacation time between the first and second terms, I decided to return to the territory carrying the magic sword that Cercia secured. There was no need to be cautious because it brought no harm unless there was direct contact.

The sword was priced at 10 million credits, cheap for a magic sword. Well, considering its wielder either committed suicide or would be ruined for life, the price made sense. There were many types of magic swords and this one happened to be particularly cheap due to its history.

I excitedly shook off Crecia’s attempt to stop me as I grabbed the handle of the magic sword, suddenly I felt the world had turned gray. Or rather, there seemed to be gray-colored rain falling down. Ahaha, the feeling of my desire for survival being robbed away sure was interesting. The hope of living disappeared and was replaced by a sense of despair. I had no value in living in this world. What could I achieve in this world even if I kept on living? I became a tyrant, my people revolted, and in the midst of a rebellion, my loyal retainer betrayed me and I was killed. I was shown such an illusion, but wasn’t that the best?　

As I swayed when holding the sword, my heart was grateful for the sudden reward. I drew the magic sword from its scabbard, and as I aimed it at my chest, I stopped my own right hand and somehow managed to slam the sword to the ground, but it cut the ground like tofu, proving it to be very dangerous stuff. I guess its scabbard was important enough to carry.　

As I pulled my new sword from the ground and shudderingly returned it to its scabbard, color returned to the world as my lead-leaden body became light as if nothing ever happened.　

“…This magic sword is really dangerous. What did the creator of the magic sword think when he made this…?”　

“This magic sword’s name is ‘Dephassion.’ Its creator is the magic sword blacksmith Garlon.”

“Now that I think about it, Abraham also said the sword’s name when he turned his arm into a magic sword. Does the sword originally have a name?”

I was thinking of having Mei give it a try, but it’d be a waste of my effort to raise her if she killed herself, so I refrained. I was sure this was a different sword than the one that was in the institution Mei came from. Since there was a blacksmith who could make magic swords, that could only mean there were tons of magic swords spread around the world.　

…I doubt he could make a sword daily, but if magic swords like this were spread throughout the nation, it would cause chaos. Anyway, this magic sword seemed usable as long as I got used to it, so I could experience a little despair every day during the vacation. Since it could grant despair without any aftereffects, it was practically a legal drug made for me.　

Tsukii’s Note:

We could see the future of our lady holding that magic sword just like how a smoker felt like smoking.

It seemed regardless of how absurd the magic sword is, a proper owner would wield it eventually. We previously thought it would be the “personal despair of wielder” but it turned out to be “the general perception of despair” so of course it’s like a reward for Lydia. 

It was funny how Lydia treated it as “little” despair, is despair even quantifiable?

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