Read at Watashi wa Sugoi Desu!
Chapter 86 – Taking Out My Anger – Assam
What are you doing? I clicked my tongue at my own foolishness.
The bed Toki had been on just moments before was still warm.
Behind me, there was the sound of a door opening and Laham stepped in. Glancing at him, he had an angry expression on his face.
“Do you really think that I, the Laham you know, would kiss Toki-sama?”
“No. I don’t.”
It was obvious when I stopped to think about it for a second. Laham wasn’t the kind of person who would do such a thing with my spouse.
Why then? He asked me with his eyes, and I exposed my lame feelings.
“I was… jealous. Of you who could touch Toki.”
Putting aside my immaturity, the reason I couldn’t currently touch Toki was because I couldn’t suppress my desire. I knew that.
You could only cast Assist by touching the place you want to cast the spell on. It was possible to do it even without kissing. He probably… used his fingers to touch Toki’s tongue.
“Toki… is he angry?”
Does he hate me now? I wanted to ask, but I couldn’t.
“No. He cried.”
“He said that you don’t trust him. He didn’t leave the room because he was angry; it was because he was trying not to cry. Toki-sama has felt dejected time and time again because of the ‘words he cannot say.’ With the help of Assist, it became easier for him to speak and he was happy because he could now tell His Highness a lot of things. You were probably also aware of this – Toki-sama always wants to learn new words.”
My own stupidity made my stomach boil. He’d told me that so many times, but the lisping Toki was so cute I got caught up in the moment and forgot every time.
How many times have I ignored his wishes and hurt Toki?
I’ve only seen Toki cry in pain a handful of times. He cried alone, a blanket over his head, holding back his own voice.
Even though I swore to protect him, to not let him cry…
I should at least keep my greed in check.
Toki’s tears made my heart hurt more than the loneliness I felt from my suppressed desire.
“How is Toki now?”
“I cast some sleeping magic on him.”
“I… see. I need to apologize. To you as well.”
“I’ll settle for some extra pay,” Laham demanded jokingly, a wry smile on his face at my utterly un-cute apology.
Extra pay meant extra wages, and that would come out of my own wallet.
“Got it. I’m going to see Toki.”
Laham sent me off and I opened the hidden door.
I saw a curled-up lump under the blanket and my heart hurt again.