Refuse Harem
Translator: Tsukii
Editor: Prius
Read at Watashi wa Sugoi Desu!
Chapter 193 – Sophie Linier’s Dream ―The Given Words― II
The moment Sophie opened her eyes, she saw the color of the handwoven carpet with gorgeous patterns. Sunny chose a royal blue rug for the room because she thought it was a similar color to Sophie’s favorite dress.
“Suzuka nee-san…?”
Even when she looked around, Suzuka, who had been at Tasuku’s side just now, was nowhere to be seen. There was only Sophie in her quiet room.
Just now… was it a memory from my previous life?
Certainly, there was a time when Tasuku collapsed from overwork and was taken care of by Suzuka.
However, due to the high fever that lasted several days, Tasuku was left in a dizzy state and there was no memory of the conversation that took place then.
It was just from that day onward, Tasuku felt his head was absurdly refreshed and his heart became lighter.
…I see. I(ore) just forgot about it, but salvation has always been offered.
A faint sense of loneliness moistened Sophie’s eyes, but Suzuka’s words wouldn’t be forgotten this time as she carved them into her heart.
[“Don’t be scared of being disillusioned and try to come up with an answer on your own. Don’t shut yourself in your shell. The people who treasure you aren’t those kinds of boring people.”]
Indeed. Be it her previous life or current one, people whom they were close to weren’t those kinds of people.
I was disillusioned with myself for not just innocently liking Christina onee-sama, and I was under the illusion that I couldn’t meet her anymore.
However, if Sophie truly acted like that, it would make Christina confused and hurt.
“…If I told Christina onee-sama that I liked her like a mother, I wonder what would she say?”
It was a question Sophie would absolutely not ask in person.
But when she thought about that, the answer came smoothly.
Sophie was sure――――Christina would respond with a smile.
The corners of her mouth would rise, and, with a gentle and beautiful smile,
[“Oh my, that sounds like a lot of fun. But would that mean my ‘little sister’ Sophie is no more? That would make me lonely. Couldn’t both of them just exist together?”]
The thoughtful figure of Christina who put her index finger on her mouth easily popped into Sophie’s mind, and Sophie laughed as she imagined that.
“That’s right… that’s why I admired her.”
Sophie decided to protect and adore Christina because she was touched by her unwavering heart and overflowing affection.
Even if the root cause might be because Sophie was trying to fill the hole created by her desire to be loved by a mother that she couldn’t have in her previous life.
Regardless of the reason, there was no deceit in Sophie’s feelings.
Sophie sat up and smoothed out the wrinkles in her dress.
Even though Sunny cleaned the room every day, lying down on the carpet was an unthinkable act for a lady.
The boiling despair that Sophie felt before seeing the dream had subsided.
Sophie picked up the scattered diaries on the carpet and quietly put the, back in the desk where they were originally.
At that time, Sophie saw her own figure reflected in the large mirror hanging on the wall.
She saw long, silky black hair and fresh green eyes reminiscent of young leaves. Her petite lips had a faint color, making Sophie conclude she could only be seen as a pretty girl.
On that day when her memories returned, she vowed to live as Sophie Linier, the daughter of a baron family—a splendid lady.
Sophie wanted to live as a woman who carved out her own destiny and moved forward.
She thought if she did that, she would be able to hide her weak self.
“Am I a weak person since I couldn’t tear apart the diaries and throw them away?”
Sophie gently reached out her hand toward her reflection in the mirror.
Sophie Linier shouldn’t be weak.
She had to be a strong and tough child at all costs…
[“Even if you’re weak, what’s the problem?”]
Suzuka’s voice resounded again and Sophie choked up.
“The problem, the problem is…”
As Sophie smacked herself awake, ideas began to overflow.
Tasuku was basically a shy person with low self-esteem and self-affirmation. He would sometimes show an ego in an outrageous direction, just like how much Sophie messed with “The King’s Sword.” Also, his perspective became narrow when his best friend was involved――――
“Isn’t that totally not good?”
It made Sophie furrow her brows when she noticed there was almost nothing good about her as a person.
Rather, what is good about me?! Just as Sophie thought about that, there was a discreet knock on the door.
“Sophie-sama, I brought you dinner…”
“Eh?!”
Hearing Sunny’s voice, Sophie looked at the clock in a panic, only to see it was past evening.
It was originally Sophie who was in charge of making dinner, but it seemed Sunny was being considerate and prepared it in Sophie’s stead.
“Thank you, Sunny. Let’s eat it together.”
As Sophie opened the door and spoke with her usual tone, she could see Sunny had a visibly relieved expression on her face. It was clear from that face how much Sunny had been worried when Sophie returned home with an unusual atmosphere.
The dinner was quieter than usual.
Sunny ate the soup as usual, not questioning Sophie’s clearly strange attitude earlier. When their eyes met, she would smile, which soothed Sophie.
I see, so this is…
It was because it felt similar to the kindness Sophie felt from her best friend in her previous life.
Tenma wouldn’t force the answer and just stayed by Tasuku’s side. It was the kindness of choosing not to mention it.
It was the opposite type to Suzuka, who would instead ask to help Tasuku organize his mind, which made those two well-balanced as siblings.
Both of them were irreplaceable people whom Tasuku was grateful for.
As expected… I couldn’t erase it.
She was referring to her previous life memories.
Sophie couldn’t forget those people who were important to her.
But it would serve as a double-edged sword at the same time.
Due to a dilemma, Sophie couldn’t help but ask Sunny, sitting in front of her,
“Hey, Sunny. Would you hate it if I ended up becoming a weak person?”
“Weak Sophie-sama, is it?”
Sunny tilted her head slightly and then smiled softly.
“It’s hard to imagine that.”
“I… guess so.”
It was Sophie herself who chose to act in a way that gave such an impression to others.
As Sophie clenched her fist while thinking she couldn’t show her weak self after all this time, Sunny spoke in a cool voice.
“I can still vividly remember the day I first saw Sophie-sama.”
“Aah…When I borrowed the kitchen in the orphanage and began to cook. Bart gave me a suspicious look of ‘The heck’s with her?’ back then.”
When Sophie said the thing that left the biggest impression on that day, Sunny slowly shook her head.
“No, the first time I saw Sophie-sama wasn’t on that day.”
“Eh?”
Sophie’s eyes went wide in surprise since she thought their first meeting was when she first visited the orphanage.
“It was a few days before that. I saw Sophie-sama was having a heated discussion with the owner of the butcher shop at the market.”
The appearance of a girl in a dress that was completely that of an aristocratic young lady having a heated conversation with a commoner was both strange and conspicuous.
“Before long, the owners of the surrounding food stalls also joined in. Not only did Sophie-sama not flinch at all even when surrounded by adults, you even held the cue of the crowd.”
“I-it’s not like I’m the one who holds the cue…”
The somewhat bad mental image was being told with an enchanted expression.
Sophie hastily tried to deny it, but Sophie continued.
“At that time, just for a moment, my eyes met Sophie-sama’s.”
“That’s…”
Sophie remembered that.
Sophie didn’t know who the girl was Sunny back then, but Sophie did remember that her eyes met with a girl that she wasn’t familiar with.
The appearance of the director of the orphanage and several children walking together—but didn’t seem to be a parent and their children—on their outing in Sophie’s eyes.
When Sophie asked the owner of the butcher shop about it, it was the first time Sophie knew there was an orphanage in Talis.
“I had an elder brother and Eric also spoke often with me. We lived our lives without any guarantee that we had something to eat that day, but I knew well that the director, my elder brother, and other people were being considerate toward me so I didn’t have to worry. Although we led a life of poverty, I think I was quite happy.”
Her quiet tone was filled with gratitude toward Bart and the others.
However, even though Sunny said that, her chestnut-colored eyes were listlessly downcast.
“However… there were times when I suddenly felt the illusion that my feelings were far away.”
Her older brother Bart helped the orphanage as the eldest child.
Her childhood friend Bart made use of his good brain and helped with simple calculations.
Then what Sunny could do?
What could she do for the orphanage?
What was the meaning of her existence?
“During the days I asked myself those questions, I felt my own existence gradually blurred… and I became at a loss.”
That anxiety toward an uncertain future was something Sophie could understand from her experience in her previous life.
A child without a loving and protective parent had very little time to be helpless.
Therefore, they were trying to become an adult as soon as possible but then suffered as they were unable to maintain a good balance between mind and body.
“I think I’ve been suffering all that time… Because I couldn’t do anything. I hated myself for being weak.”
“Sunny…”
“But that day, Sophie-sama noticed me. Your eyes saw my existence as a human being… Even though it was just that simple thing, it really made me happy.”
Sunny lifted her downcast eyes and looked straight at Sophie.
“Sophie-sama gave us the sense of security that we would be fine as long as she was with us. You had shown the path we could walk despite our powerless selves… When people get the thing they wished for when they desired it, they would call it a miracle.”
Then Sunny got up from her seat, walked over to Sophie, and slowly knelt down on the floor.
Sunny’s gentle gaze was directed at Sophie as her hands clasped around Sophie’s.
“Sophie-sama is Sophie-sama. Whether it’s you who is trying to be strong or you trying not to show your weakness, you are still an important person to us. However, please don’t try to be strong alone. That would make our existence mean nothing. We are staying by your side so we can protect you.”
Sunny’s body heat flowed through their overlapping fingers. The heat that was transmitted along with her feelings, made Sophie aware that her own body was colder than she thought.
“Exactly because it is you, the person who found us, who only existed in a small corner of the world that nobody would bother to look at… We wish to stay by your side to protect you――――Please never forget that.”
Sunny’s words overlapped with Sophie’s previous life appearance (Tasuku).
From the moment Tasuku was born, nobody looked at him.
Tasuku thought the world revolved without him.
Tasuku was trying to erase his presence and become a non-existent person.
Then there was a friend who found him.
…I see. It’s exactly because I have my previous life’s memories that I decided to borrow everyone’s strength.
Sophie wanted to share the happiness she got in her previous life with someone else.
Even though they had no parents.
Even if their environment couldn’t be classified as blessed.
Because Sophie, knew as long as the soil is prepared, then flowers could still bloom regardless――――
Perhaps, all that matters is just the mindset…
If Sophie didn’t have her previous life’s memories, perhaps she wouldn’t even think of going to an orphanage.
The same could be said regarding Christina.
If not for Tasuku’s experience with his mother, perhaps Sophie would have refused to stay by Christina’s side due to their difference in status.
Exactly because of Tasuku’s suffering, I was able to meet everyone.
Sophie closed her eyes tightly then the next moment she lifted the corners of her mouth and smiled gracefully.
“Thank you, Sunny. It’s very… very reassuring!”
Her shining fresh green eyes sparkle so dazzlingly.
That untainted brilliant smile was the smile of the girl that Sunny had always admired since she first met her.
Author Note:
Third chapter of comicalize is updated, please read it (*’▽’)
https://www.comic-earthstar.jp/detail/gyakuharem/
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