Read at Watashi wa Sugoi Desu!
Looking again, there seemed to be more couples than I expected in school.
In our high school, there were no regulations that forbid dating or anything else along those lines. As long as it was done in moderation, no one would complain. Even still, you could feel how it was kept hush-hush like a secret here and there.
My interest in it stopped there, so it seemed that I had filtered all that from my eyes.
(That alpha and beta are lovers…)
When I inadvertently observed the students that were let out of school, a pair of students I recognized were smiling brightly at each other and caught my eye.
I didn’t know that relationships that weren’t established with marriage in mind had surprisingly little to do with secondary genders.
When someone was born, the moment they reached their presenting age, they would be affected by their troublesome secondary gender instincts that were often stronger than reason. It seemed that romantic relationships that didn’t conform to secondary genders were unusual for the most part.
From what I saw today, there were couples made of alphas, alphas and betas, and betas and omegas.
Couples of the same primary gender were also common.
Of those, there was a couple exchanging heated kisses in the shadows of the building. I felt embarrassed for suddenly becoming a voyeur, but also indignant by their audacity, so I was stuck between a rock and a hard place.
(If it’s really not that unusual, I can also be in a relationship with Amami… Is that how it works?)
I knew that I was just looking for evidence that would convince myself.
Even still, I somehow began looking for a reason I could accept a lover—someone who would walk by me without caring about such things.
I thought about Kijima, who was often surrounded by girls and had said, “We don’t have the luxury of falling head over heels for someone.” And now, that had happened to me.
The resilience of an adolescent high school boy was more fragile than a piece of paper drenched in water.
“Hey, do you want to hold hands?”
“What!? W-what are you saying in a place with so many people—”
“No one’s looking at us. Here, hand.”
And thus, he asked to hold hands.
Though he always asked for it on school grounds and on our way home, he had never forcibly held my hand. He had always waited for a reply from me.
Wasn’t he past the point of being sadistic?
It wasn’t like I didn’t… want to hold hands.
“…Just bear with this.”
I offered my pinky to the large and warm hand next to mine.
He immediately hooked his pinky with mine too. My pinky that touched his felt hot enough to melt me.
(On the contrary…… this feels even more embarrassing than holding hands normally……)
Since I suggested this in the first place, I couldn’t just change my mind, so we headed toward the station together like that.
Terrible things continued to happen.
“Shinya, you’re in love, aren’t you?”
My mother found out.
The chopsticks slid from my hands with a clatter as I made a noise like it was a scene from a drama.
My mom had come back home from work early, so we were just eating dinner together. Even still, she found out just by looking at me.
There were times when my mother was surprisingly sharp. No matter how calm I appeared to be, she always saw through me in an instant.
According to my father, who was childhood friends with her, my mother had always been like that.
Like how she had dug up his hidden porn magazines countless times.
I am not nearly eloquent enough to trick or lie to my mom. In the end, I just told her that I began dating an alpha from my class without revealing Amami’s name.
“Oh my~ Is that so! So you’re finally at that age……”
“Well, though I say he’s my lover, he’s actually just someone I’m using as a shield… that’s all.”
“But Shinya, you like that person, right?”
“Then isn’t it fine~ Have fun.”
Even though I said it was for the benefits, if I really could have drawn the line that easily, I wouldn’t be suffering right now.
Of course, I couldn’t say that my partner was already deeply in love with his “fated pair”. I could already foresee her nagging me even more if I said that.
I shut up before I said anything unnecessary and dug my own grave. But suddenly, she brought over a small box from the living room cupboard.
“I knew that this day would come, so I bought this for you. You can keep this in your bag.”
She placed something in an orange packaging, small enough to fit in one’s palm, onto the table.
“—Morning-after pill, an emergency contraceptive.”
“Listen. Shinya, since you usually lack a sense of danger, I hadn’t given this to you until now. Now that you have a special person, and an alpha at that, you need to be more careful than you’ve been before. If you’re being forced to do something you don’t want to do—”
“Wahhhh, please stop! Didn’t I already say it wasn’t like that?!”
“Shinya! Wait! You can go to your room, but take this with you!”
My mom’s voice chased me as I retreated to my room.
I shut the door behind me and slid down against it after a short pause.
What was sad was that it was my mother who was the one who had to have this kind of conversation with me… This was why I hated being an omega.
As long as someone was an omega, they would have this kind of conversation happen countless times in hospitals and such.
The ability to conceive even with a male body, the risks, merits, and demerits that came with it, and the inseparable relationship with alphas…
Even though I was fed up with it all, I guess I still needed to face it once again.
(But right now, I’m pretty sure Amami still hasn’t found out about my secondary gender yet.)
Male-male alpha-beta couples still exist, however few.
Additionally, my position was more contractual since I was just using an alpha’s pheromones. It wasn’t like we needed to go out of the way to act like we were an actual couple, and Amami hadn’t carelessly made that a requirement either.
“This really was unnecessary, Mom…”
I had tried my best to ignore these thoughts until now.
How would Amami touch his lover?
Kindly, with the smile he usually directed toward us? Or would he be rough and violent in a way I’d never seen before?
(Stop, don’t think about it.)
In the arms of Amami, who would gently touch his lover with a smile emerging like a blooming flower, wouldn’t be someone like me.
I’d have no choice but to stand there like a statue and watch Amami whisper sweet nothings to someone who wasn’t me, gently embracing their shoulders.
If I admitted I was an omega, would I be able to stand in that place, even if just for a moment?
(If I were found out, alphas with common sense would just distance themselves. I definitely can’t allow something like that to happen.)
As if I were in heat, my breathing became uneven and my pulse quickened.
This body I had no control over, my infuriatingly optimistic thoughts—all of it, I despised.
Though things in my short life had rarely ever gone the way I expected them to, this situation was by far something I’d never thought would happen.
Though I assumed that we didn’t need to go out of our way to act like we were an actual couple, things like this required another party’s opinion.
And the other party may not necessarily think the same way as me.
This was something I know firsthand now.
“Mn~ You have a nice scent coming from you as usual.”
An alpha’s warning pheromones typically don’t last that long, so to keep the effect up, they needed to reapply it regularly.
He told me that beforehand.
Though there were many methods, the quickest and simplest way was hugging.
I was too scared to hear about the other methods.
Therefore, early in the morning, I allowed him to reapply the pheromones at the far back of the rooftop stairs from before.
Just like he did in the park, it would end with a light hug… That was what I thought, but this time was clearly different.
With my back against the wall, my hips were being held.
Embarrassed, I tried to push Amami away, but he intertwined our hands and laced our fingers. Occasionally he would trace his thumb along the back of my hand, and every time my arms jolted like I was about to jump.
One of Amami’s annoyingly long legs wedged between my legs, which could have a lot of meanings. This was bad.
What was especially dangerous was—Amami had buried his nose in my nape.
An omega released pheromones from many places, but the area around the neck was the most common.
The act of biting the nape when making a mating bond was also because the neck has an important pheromone organ in it, so I should also be releasing a spicy scent from there.
A situation where I let Amami, an alpha of all things, touch me there… This was beyond bad for my heart.
It was extremely weird for me.
I couldn’t be more glad for my pheromones’ unusual smell.
I could only hope he would continue to not notice anything.
“A-Are you done yet? Homeroom is about to start.”
“Mmn… Just a little more.”
Amami hummed and nuzzled his cheek closer. His soft hair tickled my nape and made me feel like I was about to sneeze.
Was this embarrassing position really necessary?
But, well, I was the one receiving, so if he wanted to do it the easy way, then I had no choice but to accept it.
I wondered if it was something an omega originally couldn’t sense, or if it had something to do with the way Amami did it, but I couldn’t sense Amami’s pheromones at all.
In fact, I’d never even smelled an alpha’s pheromones before.
So I couldn’t determine whether Amami was actually doing anything, or if he was just being lazy.
But still, this kind of thing in this kind of position…
“Phew, this should do it. For the time being… Wait, Karasawa, are you okay?”
“—Ugh, I’m fine! Let’s go back to the classroom!”
Though it was just bravado, I somehow managed to gather my wits about me and pulled away from Amami’s embrace.
I practically flew down the stairs and ducked under the chains.
For now, I’d somehow managed to avoid getting a reaction between my legs.
It would’ve been bad if we had stayed like that for another minute.
I never would’ve imagined that such a scene, like a man and a woman entangled in the middle of the night downtown, could’ve happened to me.
Furthermore, the fact that I was in the woman’s role was so incomprehensible that my brain refused to acknowledge it, as if the memory of what happened earlier was just an illusion.
In the first place, before what happened to me with Hasegawa-sensei, I was never even approached by a woman, let alone a man.
In reality, I wasn’t someone who needed an alpha’s warning pheromones.
If I weren’t so greedy for a momentarily nice dream, this situation would’ve never happened…
(Shit, as I thought, I failed.)
Ignoring the heat gathering deep inside my heart, I sprinted down the hallway with all my might.
Author Note: Next is Kijima’s POV.