Read at Watashi wa Sugoi Desu!
Sorry to keep you waiting.
Next chapter would be the last one on the cruise.
I woke up early in the morning.
I changed my posture carefully to make sure not to wake him up.
I tried to get him to sleep as much as possible.
Ever since we were little, he would wake up early every day to take care of me. Children need more sleep than adults, but he put up with it and prioritized me.
By the time of middle school, he would wake up at 5 in the morning, but at that time, I didn’t pay attention to that. Even though I would be the one in trouble if he collapsed from working too hard… Although it was already late to say this, I couldn’t help but be irritated at my own thoughtlessness back then.
Although what I did wasn’t meant as atonement for that, I still didn’t want to give him more burdens.
He had a sleeping habit of treating me like a body pillow, so my body hurt all the time.
However, if I think this pain was something he granted to me, it wasn’t that bad.
My head was already clear and I doubted I could sleep again.
Until he woke up, I decided to sort out yesterday’s affair.
I already knew that he didn’t see me as a person of the opposite sex a long time ago.
My miscalculation was that it wasn’t something temporary and it was difficult to change.
To be honest, I thought if I changed my approach, perhaps it might change… such was a naïve thought of mine. However, things weren’t that simple.
Our too-close relationship was blocking our consciousnesses as opposite sexes.
However, asking me to maintain a reasonable distance from him was something impossible to do.
There was one thing that I chose not to say yesterday.
It was that he must have thought of me as family from the beginning.
He was an only child, so perhaps the origin of all was that he was treating me as a substitute for a non-existent “little sister.”
If I thought about it that way, everything would make sense. The fact he tolerated my cold demeanor toward him was evidence. A scene where a little sister treated their elder brother coldly was something common after all.
…Also, the fact I didn’t realize such a simple fact until recently showed that I could never win against him. Now that I think about it, perhaps my current situation was already fated from the first moment we met.
I would work for him for the rest of my life. Also, he would always put me first.
This relationship was very comfortable, but there was one big problem.
To make my dream come true, I need him to treat me as a woman.
At this rate, I could never achieve it.
There was no need to rush it, but it was something that must be resolved.
Instead of creating distance, if we could get even closer, then…
…Please take me someday, okay?
As I touched his body, I thought about the future.
Kushida Kikyou-san was my beloved pet.
The reason I wanted her had nothing to do with him.
Of course, it would be nice if she could serve as the spice that could make him enjoy this school, but that was nothing but a side effect.
She had a strong desire for approval and would try to overcome any pain in order to be praised.
When I met her for the first time not long after I entered this school, that appearance of hers looked very lovely.
What kind of face would she show me when I became her number one?
That thought was the beginning of everything.
The “achievements” she left behind in her middle school days were quite wonderful.
I couldn’t lead a group, so it was worth having talents like her and Honami-san on my side. I was sure they would continue to do good work.
Things were fine if it ended right there, but…
She had an easy-to-understand affection toward him, and he also accepted it as well.
Perhaps the person in question didn’t realize it, but that undoubtedly could be referred to as love.
The two people who had an overwhelmingly shallow relationship compared to me created such an atmosphere.
As ashamed as I was to say, I had been a little irritated seeing those scenes recently.
She managed to draw out emotions from him that I couldn’t draw out right now.
While I was impressed by her, I was also jealous of her.
On the contrary, I grew so fond of her that I didn’t even want to separate them. That said, I was sure he would never want that to begin with, so it wasn’t even worth considering.
The reason I took action was simple.
It was because the worst possibility popped into my head all of a sudden.
It was a possibility that they became a married couple and I was abandoned.
It was a gruesome and terrifying future.
That was impossible. No matter what happened, he wouldn’t abandon me. Even though I knew that, as long as the possibility wasn’t 0, my imagination would grow worse and worse.
My mind that was hopelessly dependent on him was not something that could be easily controlled.
In addition, she would realize that her affection toward him was affection toward the opposite sex sooner or later.
It was something that was easy to understand by observing their daily attitudes and facial expressions.
…Since it was unavoidable, then it was better for me to intervene and control it as much as possible. That was what I thought.
As long as I wasn’t abandoned, it was good enough. As long as my place next to him could be kept, I didn’t mind abandoning everything else. Since his affection toward her was greater than I thought, it couldn’t be helped.
At the same time that I came up with a way to make her aware of her romantic love, she also began to understand the root of who I was as a human being. This was something that was completely beyond my imagination.
When the two of us spoke yesterday, I praised her sharpness with sincere respect.
Upon seeing the happy expression on her face at that time, I was convinced that it would be fine for her to proceed this way.
I have two purposes.
The first was to make her helplessly dependent on both of us.
I intended to treat her more kindly than ever. I would continue to accept her all like admiring a pet. That would be like a sweet poison.
I knew how effective “kindness” could be in making others dependent.
The second was to make her understand my connection with him.
During the deserted island exam, I learned one thing after spending two days with Masumi-san.
It was regarding his support for me. It was something that nobody could imitate perfectly. However, part of the tasks… some of the routines could be imitated to some extent.
The thing that made it possible was the notebook with the embarrassing title of “Arisu-chan memo.” It contained detailed instructions for the tasks he did on a daily basis.
He could write his routine into manuals and educate others to do something similar.
Really, on the point of supporting me, he was a terrifying genius.
I wouldn’t expect anyone to do it like he could. As long as my existence grew a little bigger within her… such was the faint hope I had as I entrusted the book to her.
It was like I was passing my weakness to others, so it would be a lie if I had no psychological resistance from doing so.
However, it was a necessary action to make her understand that I couldn’t live without him. Since it would happen either way, it would be better to teach her early.
…I already revealed this much of my weakness, so I wouldn’t let you get away anymore, you know?
As for the man in question, he was still spoiling her excessively. He would tell her the words that made her happiest, be considerate toward her, and appeal that he would stay as her ally… As expected, it made me envious as I thought about it.
To sum it up, it was just a simple thing.
It’s no good for you to keep spoiling only Kikyou-san.
In the end, I was just jealous.
I didn’t like the fact he showed her a side that he didn’t show me.
That was why I decided to use words such as family to make him treat me the same way.
…I guess I was actually quite childish.
“Good morning, Arisu-chan.”
He woke up around 10 a.m.
“…You look cute today as well.”
“Thank you very much.”
I didn’t know how good my appearance was, but being praised every day made me happy. However, the emotion behind that word… was closer to something said toward a younger sister or daughter, rather than a lover.
I love you as a family and as a man as well.
I wonder, when will you realize that? It would be a long journey.
“Okay. Let’s get ready.”
He got up and proceeded with the morning routine.
Perhaps it’s a luxurious worry.
Even this awkward lovers relationship still made me happy.
It might be greed that I didn’t feel satisfied with just that and tried to move to a deeper relationship.
However, I… have decided to spend my whole life fulfilling that one dream.
That will wasn’t something that he or Kikyou-san could bend.
It was my final desire and the only event that was worth risking my life for.
I also thought that I would like to make Kikyou-san help me with that someday.
Everything was for one purpose, and I had to keep moving.
After a small sigh, I slowly got up.
If she wanted to stay just the two of them, she shouldn’t have made a pawn unnecessarily.
Her greatest miscalculation was that the man had taken a liking to that pawn as well.
So she chose a compromise plan since it was many times better than being abandoned altogether.
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